#5

 

This week I read Elder Dallin H. Oaks talk “Dating versus Hanging Out” from 2005. In his talk he mentions 4 factors that has made dating “an endangered species”.

Number one

“The cultural tides in our world run strongly against commitments in family relationships.”

Number two

“The leveling effect of the women’s movement has contributed to discourage dating.”

Number three

“Hanging out is glamorized on TV programs about singles.”

Number four

“The meaning and significance of a “date” has also changed in such a way as to price dating out of the market.”

I definitely took an interest in this talk because I think you can see these factors today more than ever. I feel like I can relate to each one.

“The cultural tides in our world run strongly against commitments in family relationships.” This is a big thing I saw even in high school, none of my friends had an interest in dating to marry. They figured why spend money on a wedding when you could just move in together and have practically the same thing? Another common thing I hear was “pets are the new kids”. As someone who has always wanted kids its strange having lots of people around you with zero interest. Looking at the number of how many people want to get married and have kids shows how much times have changed.

“The leveling effect of the women’s movement has contributed to discourage dating.” something else I’ve heard increasingly as time goes on is women don’t need to date men because they are strong and independent by themselves. Some women take offense to being asked out on a date because they don’t need a man to take them out. Different women’s movements over the years have definitely put a negative outlook on dating.

“Hanging out is glamorized on TV programs about singles.” We had a class discussion on the TV show friends and how it has changed the dating scene. I watched that show as a young teenager and didn’t think much at the time, but looking back and also thinking about other TV shows and movies I can agree with Elder oaks statement. When young teens see the glamorized hanging out on their favorite shows it looks fun and great and that’s what they will look forward to in their future. Because more shows are coming out portraying the idea of having out, more young teens are influenced and use it as an example to carry throughout their dating life.

“The meaning and significance of a “date” has also changed in such a way as to price dating out of the market.” When I was younger, I thought a date had to be something big like an expensive dinner or involve renting a limo etc. Judging by a few of my friends’ thoughts as well it seems like a lot of people think that, males and females. Based off that no wonder guys don’t want to take girls out on dates, its not in the budget! As I got older and started dating, I realized that a date can be simple and low cost. I think that needs to be communicated more to improve the dating scene.

It was weird reading the talk and realizing those are all things I have learned from a young age. Those factors affect most if not all my nonmember friends’ opinions on dating. In class we discussed the three components of a date, planned, paid for, and paired off. I think those are good guidelines to follow when dating and will allow you to get to know the person better. Although I do agree that dating adds a lot more pressure than just hanging out, I can see how it is good. The pressure adds a little more of a push to impress the person and make more of an effort to get to know them, hanging out is a lot more casual and you might not know if it will lead to anything in the future so a lot of people won't make an effort to give a good impression or get to know them.